doodles and scribbles

dreaming

2007-02-12T23:34:00.000+08:00

Lately, I've been dreaming weird stuff...

That is snowing here in the Philippines while in the US, its raining. And after the snow, it began to rain and it melted some of the snow. But it snowed again. During the that "winter", there are lots of summer flowers blooming... weird huh? But I fell in love with place because it is a cottage or house that's on top of the mountain, you can see the view but at the same time, when you go outside, there's a running stream beside it. (Another weird stuff)
That we have a fairy land in our backyard ang good fairies are dwelling in it. The place is like a mountain background With a sort of brick bridge in front of it. The Mountain is full of snow while the brick bridge, it's like summer with sun rays illuminating that place and things are flying... small fairies like tinkerbell... It has a shield in which it prevents the falling snow to pass through that beick bridge...It's very weird. But I liked the concept.

I dunno whether to be fascinated by these dreams, having a peculiar sceneries and concepts. I dunno if I would fear it because some of my dreams since I was a senior are coming into reality... That this would happen... And that person is blah blah blah... Maybe it's just coincidence? Maybe not... There are clues when put together, makes sense after the dream already happen... Creepy or Awesome? I dunno...

someday - nina

2007-02-06T02:49:00.000+08:00

Someday, you'll gonna realize
One day, you'll see this through my eyes
But then I won't even be there
I'll be happy somewhere
Even if I can't

I know you don't really see my worth
You think you're the last guy on earth
Well, I've got news for you
I know I'm not that strong
But it won't take long, won't take long

[chorus]
'Cause someday, someone's gonna love me
The way I wanted you to need me
Someday, someone's gonna take your place
One day, I'll forget about you
You'll see, I won't even miss you
Someday, someday / Someday, I know someone's gonna be there

But now, I know you can tell
I'm down and I'm not doin' well
But one day, these tears
They will all run dry
I won't have to cry sweet goodbye

[repeat chorus 2x]

Ahh yeah yeah

>nakaka-asar

2007-02-04T23:23:00.000+08:00

Bakit ganon?

Kanina lang may mga thoughts ako sa utak ko na magandang isulat... So i tried going here para mai-publish... Pero ngayon, wala na akong maisulat... Nakaka-asar. Nasa height pa naman ako ng pag-eemote kanina e...

Ito ay dahil sa isang pesteng memory card na ayaw mabuksan kanina na nabuksan ko na nagyon...

kainis no? dahil lang doon, bigla nang naglaho ung mga naiisip ko...

>contrary, contradictory

2007-02-03T22:31:00.000+08:00

Have you ever experience contradiction between the heart and the mind?
Yung tipong your mind says this but your hearts feels the opposite?
Most of the time, its difficult to be in that situation.

Like now, I thought...
Matutuwa ba ako or malulungkot sa mga nagyayari sa mga tao sa paligid ko... There are some people in my life who abandoned me. Yung tipong out of no where e iiwan ka na lang sa ere. NO explanations, no nothing. Maybe, they are happy doing that choice. It's their choice. They did it because its the only way. So, what they did, it left me wounded. Sa sobrang bleeding, I tend to be angry to them. Tipong kinakain na ako ng galit ko. I tend to be destructive. (Yun ang mahirap pag sobrang galit mo)

Now... what confuses me is that, when I heard that something bad happend to them, I am left in a situation in which I dunno what to feel. As in! Matutuwa ba ako o malulungkot?

A part of me says that I should be happy, at least nakarma na sila for what they've did to me... Serves them right... They've been wounded so we are even... Things like that...

A part of me says that I should be sad because they almost lost everything... That it this should've happend to them... not to this extent... Nakakalungot lang na pwede naman hindi ganun katindi ang balik pero ayun ang nagyari.

Other things that confuses me is that whether I should forgive them or not. To forgive or not to forgive? That is the question. I know that if God has the capacity to forgive, why can't I? I am still a human, and I have the capacity to forgive, I still have the goodness of a human being no. I can still feel sympathy. (Matakot kayo kung wala na!) Sometimes, people misinterpreted me as the opposite because of my strong personality pero naman, I am sensitive naman kahit papano... Therefore, I am prone to what ever pain inflicted on me... Kaya there is a part of me who doesn't want to forgive because of the pains that I felt. Hindi bale kung once lang e... pero ang daming na nila akong ginanito that there's a point in which I feel apathetic na.

This is what's difficult. Being caught in that situation

Another situation that I hate is that when I am missing those people who once become a part of my life, siyempre, before they abandoned me. Nanghihinayang of the friendship that what lost, there are thoughts na: Ano na kayang ginawa na nila ngayon? Masaya ba naman sila etc. but there's another that says, wag mo na silang isipin, they're not thinking what your're thinking. They abandoned you remember? Lam mo yung type na bitter ka sobra at ayan nanaman, anger builds up at nagiging destructive nanaman ako.

Sigh... life is complicated...

Mas mabuti pa ang bata simple lang ang buhay...

>agam agam

2007-01-31T22:59:00.000+08:00

hay...

its been a while since i posted here... maybe its because i don't have anything good to right... no thoughts means no sense. pero sometimes, its nice to have no sense, para bang walang problema, puro humor lang. walang tension and stuff...

Lately, i'm fond of one liner or quotable quotes like...

"Shit happens..."
> Correct! especially when you least expected it. As in! It happens any time in any aspect of your life... Have you ever experienced when you already planned things ahead of you, everything is going good when suddenly, a disaster happens... WHA! at lahat ng plans mo, nasira... My goodness...

"You deserve someone better."
> Hay... THis is the lamest thing I've ever heard. Grabe. You deserve someone better... Comment ko jan: You could be that someone if you just do something, hindi yung iiwan ka na lang out of no where na walang in-eexert na effort.

"Promises are made to be broken."
> Isa pang CORRECT! Friendship, Love-life at kung ano pang promise, talagang promises are made to be broken. Sometimes, iiwan ka ng friends mo out of no where dahil sa love-life. Minsan nakakatawang isipin na your friend, could do such a thing, na iwan ka na lang without telling you, yung tipong ma-feel mo na lang someday na wala na sila, pero i realized, it is DEFINITELY POSSIBLE. Promises sa love, sus, THEY ARE REALLY MEANT TO BE BROKEN!

YAn lang for now...
wala nanaman ang flight of ideas ko hehehe....
ang sarap kumain ng pastry...

ulan

2006-12-10T23:35:00.000+08:00

lamig ng hangin...
dumadampi sa 'king balat...
sarap lang...
masarap magpatumpik-tumpik
masarap ding matulog
masarap ding tumbay sa bahay
masarap kumain ng pagkaing mainit
humigop ng mainit na sabaw
at kumain ng tuyo (d naman ako pwd!) haha

>just human

2006-12-01T01:30:00.000+08:00

last wednesday, super bangag talaga ako... didn't get enough sleep these couple of days. Maybe its stress or just thinking and doing a lot of stuffs lately... ayun so woke up wednesday morning super antok pa... got a shot of my black coffee, wa effect pa din! grabe!

ayun... a lot of funny things happened to me that day, just proving that i'm just a human being, committing mistakes, accidents happening and doing silly things... may be these was brought about by lack of sleep haha

Situation 1

i tripped down the hall of the college... got a hematoma on my left knee and right hand, on the bony prominence below the palm...

good news: i didn't get a wound just hematoma at nabalatan lang ng onti ung knees ko
bad news: a lot of people saw me when i tripped, nakakahiya hehe

Situation 2

i almost got in the male's bathroom...

good news: hindi ako nakapasok dahil nag-freak out si iris... effective ang pagpapapansin niya
bad news: someone in the hall saw us (nakakahiya nanaman)

wala lang... tapus we (iris and i) discovered a new terms to use like

halimaw - referring to excessive high grades

churva - wala lang, things etc...

tao lang... pero fun fun fun... magpakatotoo ka kasi para sumaya ka...

> vicous cycle

2006-11-29T01:00:00.000+08:00

its difficult to live in a world of lies, deceit and treachery.
you don't know who and when to trust.
when you finally convinced yourself,
you start to have faith & believe.
that's the time you'll discover deception,
you'll be betrayed,
abandoned...
by people whom you gave your trust...

and then you start to doubt about the world,
isolate yourself, bliss is vanishing...
some people will come,
trying to open you again.
again you doubt,
you refuse,
but there will be one,
whom you gave trust again.

when your learning to trust, believe
happiness starting to fill you,
that's when you'll discover deception,
you'll be betrayed,
abandoned...
by people whom you gave your trust...

and soon the cycle repeats itself,
you'll trust,
experiencing bliss...
be deceived and break into pieces
loose trust in the world

That's your story
in the world full of deception and lies.

is it worth it a try,
even if it costs your life?

>encumbrance

2006-11-29T00:34:00.000+08:00

forget...
restore what were lost...
keep trying...
mending a serious injury not sutured by time...
still suffers stabbing within...
some part still bleeding...
though some part formed a scar...
it's still damaged, mutilated...
difficult to form the shattered pieces...
it can't be restored to its original form...
but still trying...

> ...

2006-11-20T04:03:00.000+08:00

another year has past...

mistakes commited and lessons learned...
people came in and went out of my life...
happy and sorrowful memories that will forever be recalled...
easy to forgive, yet diffifult to forget...
acceptance granted but rejections obtained...

another year is about to be uncovered...

what does it offer now?

will it make me whole, or shatter me into pieces?

i'm like a glass...

looks sturdy yet fragile...
starting to break into pieces
and soon can't be restored...

what is it now?

stomatitis et al

2006-11-17T16:44:00.000+08:00

alteration of comfort, pain, related to presence of mouth sores.
alteration of nutrition related to presence of mouth sores and gum sutures...

hay nursing diagnosis again...

badtrip at ang dami... more than 20 small mouth sores that combined into big ones... hirap kumain... d tuloi ako nakasama kanina hmpf!

ayun... so depressin sa logic, mali lang ung first part ng presentation tapus the rest are correct, d na namin na-ipresent dahil ayun... sayang...

>impacted tooth extraction

2006-11-12T23:22:00.000+08:00

Got my impacted tooth extracted...

Grabe... it only lasted for 15 minutes... Good thing the nerve blocking using an anesthetic agent was administered properly before the braching of the nerve...

Pero grabe din because I'm on a SOFT DIET only... no foods that requires too much mastication because it will give tension to the suture and its painful no... God 3 stiches and next saturday tatangalin ung suture...

ayun... Payat mode ito cgurado... lugaw, mash potato, rice with soup na hindi maiinit at bihon lang nakakain ko... grabe

>if you cannot know the truth based on experience, how can you know anything at all?

2006-11-10T11:48:00.000+08:00

this is it na talaga! after 2 days of pa-banging banging e this is official...

BIOSTATISTICS:

1st day kasi is like being in the "jurassic years" e kasi naman, the discussion was repeated 3 times as in! so we ended @ 8, pero i thought na kung hindi naging ganon e marahil, 7 pm pa lang e tapos na kami. take note: 11 lang kami, there are 2 rows with 10 armchairs then board na agad... o san ka pa... close contact haha

HEALTH LAWS:

2nd day naman nakakatawa. Iris and I decided to go to the mall muna, buy cds, notebook etc. then we ate na din... tapos ayun... naabutan kami ng 530 kaya nagkumahog kaming sumakaya ng jeep papuntang skul... sakto lang... we are 5 minutes earlier... ayun... antay antay sa classroom. nandun din si mam cantor. tapus 630pm came, "toot toot... toot toot..." sabi ng phone ni mam cantor... wala daw class...goodness gracious nakakatawa kasi madali-madali pa kami e d naman din pala papasok... at least, may BK kami! haha

CRITICAL THINKING:

3rd day... this is it na talaga... grabe... lecture agad! introduction and stuff...o tapus get 1/4 sheet of yellow pad... then answer this arguement, accept or reject then explain... research journal due on dec 7... Take down of this: if you cannot know the truth based on experience, how can you know anything at all? group yourselves into 3 then discuss... ppt presentation nxt meeting... o san ka pa?! hahaha

>happy moments

2006-11-02T21:26:00.000+08:00

Cool Slideshows

ayun... nakapag-oath na din kami... nakakatawa dahil may mga incident png confrontation na nalalaman... kausapin daw namin si dean... grabe... ayun... ang masasabi ko lang sa incident:

hindi dapat isinusumbat sa isang tao if he's exercising his rights...
if a person doesn't have the same oppinion as yours, respect them at 'wag personalin, after all, you are also respected....
act like professionals, threating a person is as good as assault...
know the law... ignorance doesn't exempt you to be accountable on the actions you're doing

>just some thoughts

2006-10-29T03:37:00.000+08:00

wala lang...

Just happy bought the the things happening...

Our batch had an additional of 17 students who passed the exams...
Leann and Dyan are with them...
I've got admitted to graduate school...
Shocks... I still can't believe at that I'm going back to school hehe...
Ma'am Llanes was promoted to Asst. Dean and will soon be Dean... Yahoo!

I hope that the leakage issue be resolved in a manner that is best for the integrity of the profession...

>greenbelt = big buddha + picture taking + bonding etc...

2006-10-22T02:40:00.000+08:00

Cool Slideshows

Went to greenbelt with Rj and Ekai... kami lang ang natirang matibay... 'di kasi makakasama sina Queen, Yyen and Chinny that day... C Florie naman, may check-up the next day so talagang 'di cya makakasama... So ayun... The original plan was sa Eastwood, Libis but due to circumstances na wala ang knowledgable sa Libis, the 3 of us decided to dine-in in greenbelt... Sosyal! We ate in Big Buddha and the food wa superb, ewan ko na lang sa banana split that turned out sour mango-split! Haha...

Maybe it was meant to be that only the 3 of us can come... We had lots of things to talked about that I think that the three of us can only relate so, good timing... And besides, we have to reward ourselves after the things and issues that are happening, we really need a break. Its a bonding moment for us...

Pictures are taken from Big Buddha and a fountain hehe... Cool

>seafood + stress = allergies vs. antihistamine + steroids

2006-10-22T01:40:00.000+08:00

i thought allergies are things of the past but i think the remission is very high and whala! i have it again... its even worst... if before, i'm having food allergies in my feet, now, there would pruritus in my abdominal area, and pruritic spots are present. gheez... what an allergy...

my mom and I have decided to abstain myslef from eating seafoods, egg white, chicken and anything that may cause my allergy to be dominant... I'm also avoiding stress, i need to because it has an additive effect on my allergies, which is bugging me alot...

Abstaining is not only an option, steroids and antihistamine regimen is also included so that in cases that foods triggering my allergic reaction are present, i could drink it to lessen or delay the effects and putting a topical administer ther steroid on the affected area to alleviate the inflammation and also decrease the pruritus...

allegies will be there... sigh...

>electricity and civilization

2006-10-02T02:32:00.000+08:00

After 4 days... Finally! We've got civilization back!

The typhoon Milenyo that hit Luzon last thursday was the one responsible for robbing our civilization...

Electricity = civilization... Even though the 1st cradle of civilization in the Tigris-Euphrates does only have fire, nowadays, electricity is very essential to man... Electricity means having artifical light, electric fan, PC, dvd players and cellphone. And due to the strong winds brought about by the said typhoon, a lot of tress, billboards and electric post were knock-down causing massiveblack-out in Metro Manila as well as other neighboring towns and provinces...

In the absence of electricity, I felt that I was in the province, because as we all know, not all areas in the province have eletricity. I felt I was put in a non-comfort zone in which there is no light, no TV to watch, radio to listen to, electric fan to give me cool and drive away those pesky mosquitos, computer to entertain me and more so, cellphone for communication. It was very difficult because I needed utilization of scarce resources. My cellphone's battery was low and almost drained out because of lack of charging...

During hitting time...

I was asleep... I'm feeling and hearing the wind knocking to my window but I kept sleeping because of my beloved allergy that made me stay awake during my sleep... So its like I hibernated till 5pm... But before achieving the optimum level of hibernation, 8 am, jessica, of ABSCBN called me up, inviting me for an interview in ANC's Prime News, hosted by Ces Drilon... Thinking that my dad will be coming, I refused the offer and went back to sleep... And the hibernation follows... I woke up, 5pm and saw missed calls and texts if I could guest etc... soon I realized, I gave in to the invitation, a phone patch because it was already late and the travel time from ABS to my home and vice versa would not meet the calltime 645pm.

Consultations were made from the professors because as a representative of our Alma MAter, my speech would be heard and one single mistake could create chaos... 7pm came, the phone rang... I thought its the interview but suprisingly, it was my dad saying that he's already in the airport and fetch him... and sooner thatn I thought, the phone rang again and it was the interview... Toto Aquino was there in the studio... Double blessing in disguise... Good thing I am not able to go in the studio... Other details soon...

On deprivation...
Taking off electricity for 4 days was like removing me in my comfort zone... Oviously dba? and its was difficult to live in a place without electricity... The air is humid, full of mosquitos, its hot and achieving a good sleep is very impossible... Every now and then, I'm turning to and from to get a comfortable position with less heat felt...

Communication is lessen because I have to utilize the remaining battery in my cellphone, its hard because I have to control my self... Imagine, cellphone is the only technology that can ease my boredom and yet, instead of using it for texting and playing, I have to turn iy off once in a while so that I could conserve it for the next day...

TV and PC, the other stuffs that makes boredom unoticable was removed so, boredom sets in... Haven't got the chance to watch my favorite TV shows, watch latest updates in news, check my mail and post in my blog... Kahit radio, wala, because we don't have a radio operated by batteries, Good luck naman!

What did I do to ease the boredom?
During the night, I went up to my room early, papa-antok na agad para lang makakuha kahit konting tulgo conz its difficult to remain asleep with this kind of situation...

day 2 - I went to the Mall with my family, brought some stuff... I heard nga that most hotels were fully-booked becasue of this incident. Panic buying ng emergency light because paubos na yung amin, and walang pwdng ma-charjan... So from SM Megamall we went all the way to MAkati riding a bus, because MRT is not availbale. grabe!

day 3 - accompanied my sister in her urinalysis and I've got the chance to recharge my phone a bit and after getting the results, went to glorietta to see RJ and we went to Araneta to watch GAme 2! ASTIG AND GAME! GO USTE! hahaa

day 4 - woke up for a mass, and slept in the afternoon, difficult in sleeping so around 3pm, i ask mom if we could go to mall... In fairness, Landmark's air conditioning unit was already functional because the electricity was already restored asnd there are lots of people in the mall... ayun, naki-charge ulit ng cellfone sa Oody's hehehe until 8pm, electricity was restored in our area... HEllo civilization!

Hay salamas!

>expectations

2006-09-26T01:49:00.000+08:00

*****

hay grabe... its been a while since i posted here... alam nyo naman, 6 days and 6 nights ako sa hospital para bantayan ang mom and sis ko... Post lap-chole and UTI ang cases nila and sa sobrang daming nagpapaconfine because of suspected case of dengue, umabot sa 60 ang waiting sa room so we have no choice but to combine them in one room. oki na rin yun because at least 1 room lng ang 2 babantayan hehe... pero grabe, nag-iba ang body clock ko... I slept 2 am in the morning and woke up every hour because of due meds etc.

At the afternoon of confinement, shocking news... I just weighed 100 lbs! Wha! I can't believe it... even the nurse saw it. Nakakatawa, sa sobrang stress at kakatulog till late afternoon, (tnx to maanne's advice) I lost that much, around 25-30 lbs! Haha

Ayun nga pero after the confinement e i gained ulit, kasi naman, ang daming food tapus dahil nasira ang diet regimen ko, I have no choice but eat kasi pinagagalitan na ko ng mom ko! Bwahaha...

Ayun, just got my PC back last saturday night because na-virus itong PC kaka-DL sa limewire! Haha... So need to have a new anti-spyware talaga.

On Expectations...
Flor and I had a discusion regarding expections... People and Situations

Its better not to expect...
or at least not to expect much to prevent getting disappointed...

That qoute got me and made me think a lot of things in my life... Siguro this is one of the things that's bugging me, maybe I expect too much, that's why I get disappointed that much... Ayun, maybe high expectations on people and the things that will happen next... kaya ayun, with a failure expectation goes my disappointments on those things... And this perhaps made me re-consider about my perception on people and situations...

This morning, Tupe and I had a debate regarding expectations... And because I just had a good conversation last night with Flor regarding this issue, e I also shared it to him... Haha... Sana lang nag-sink in kasi bigla na lang sinabi na: 'ge lalakad muna ako... Haha

Ayun nga, that's its oki if you're aiming for something, but aiming high in a realistic sense. Yung tipong SMART like ng NCP. You can give you're best shot but its better not to expect that you'll have all the desired results because life has imperfections and so, there maybe some deviations with what was expected. If there is, at least less disappoinment on your part... Look at the bright side, there's a reason for everything that's happening... Imperfections makes the world exciting and worth living for... If it wasn't for these, walang challenge and life, we could not have appreciated life better. If life is perfect, we can't determine right from wrong, there would be no recognition of happiness and suffering so ayun...

Not expecting is not comparable to not exerting effort or giving the 100%, its just that you will do something ackowledging that there may be deviations but still the aim is there, the will power is there to achieve a certain goal, its like possesing a PLAN B in everything... Doing the OPTIMUM capacity... 'di tulad sa "The Devil Wears Prada" that the designer is a perfectionist that sometimes, she tend to forget that people do have limitations...

Sabi nga ni Anne Hathaway: "For her, there's no PLAN B."

Ayun lng naman...

*****

>dead end signs

2006-09-12T00:41:00.001+08:00

recieved a quote from emers last Sept 3. 2006... Wala lang, just want to share and reflect on it...

--------------------------------------------------------

"I like DEAD END signs...

I think they're kind...

They at least have the decency

to let you know you're going nowhere..."

- BUGS BUNNY

--------------------------------------------------------

Yap indeed true...

Better than what most people are doing...

Nakakainis ang umasa dahil madalas nakakasakit ito ng damdamin whether its friends or a commitment...

Nakakainis isipin na sometimes, those people you expected to be there for you, sila pa ang wala, out of sight... Wala man lamang notice kung bakit ganito, ganyan, parang bula nalang nawawala... Ewan... nakakafrustrate lang... Mabuti pa ang ibang tao, they unexpectedly show some concern na kamustahin ka for no reason... At least may nakausap ka kahit papano...

Sa commitment naman, Kung hindi mo mahal ang isang tao, you shouldn't keep that person just because you're getting something from him/her in return... yun tipong, just keeping that person because of the benefits/gains your having like:

there would be someone na manlilibre sayo,
anytime would be there for you if you need someone na pwede kang samahan to do this and that,
na gagawa ng things para sayo though you could do it etc...

Nakakainis ang ganun kasi its giving false hopes sa taong umaaasa na mamahalin in return kahit wala naman talagang feelings na speacial... Sana sabihin na lang na ayaw mo sakanya, that you're not feeling the same as he do, na hangang friends lang etc...

Pero kahit friends lang, ang pangit pa din minsan dahil that person will still hope that he could gain the love of his beloved, susuyuin ulit and the other party may send wrong signals, wrong impression that empowers false hopes to that person...

Mas maganda nga na sinasabi ng prangkahan... At kahit masakit sa una dahil diretchan, at least hindi ka naman nag-aantay lang sa wala. At least hindi ka nagmumukhang tanga. Sometimes kasi, the problem is that,

we have the dilemma to tell the truth na ayaw na natin sa isang tao

or in case of those people with relationship - that you gave up na because of this and that reasons etc. I think kasi some people are afraid to break the heart of the person they "love" kasi they can see the happiness of the significant other. Pero isn't it selfish that you're keeping the person kahit ayaw mo na... Isn't it more unfair for the person because you're concealing the truth from her... Its cheating her twice... Masakit malaman in the end na matagal na palang ayaw sayo ng isang tao, hindi man lamang niya sinasabi sayo... Masakit yun grabe...

Yung sa huli, isusupalpal sa mukha mo na matagal na palang "the feeling is gone" or matagal na siyang nakapag-decide na tapusin na ang relationship dahil "mahihirapan siya, nasasakay etc." pero pilit parin
niyang itinatago kasi ayaw ka niyang masaktan or sasabihin sayo na "kasi masaya ka kaya i decided to delay the confrontation."

What kind of reason is this? napaka-selfish...

Masakit isipin na in the most unexpected time ka pa nila iiwan sa ere ng walang warning... Para kang ibon na tinanggalan ng pakpak at hindi makalipad - ito marahil ang kahalintulad ng isang taong iniwan ng biglaan... Hindi man lamang nakipag-usap ng matino, isasambulat na lang sayo na ayaw ko na kasi ganyan, ganito... Madaming binabanggit to rationalize the "pang-iiwan." Mas masakit pa lalo e dun sa mga nakarinig pa ng panunumbat, o 'di kanais nais na mga pananalita tulad ng paninisi - na ikaw kasi e atbp...

Nakakatawa lang kasi mag-iisip ka ng malalim if you did something wrong that caused the relationship to fall apart, iispin mo kung talaga bang naging totoo siya sayo sa umpisa pa lang, kung talagang ninahal ka niya o niloko ka lang niya talaga, na maaring isa ka sa collection niya ng mga babae na pwede niyang ipagyabang in the future... You will feel stupid if you recalled some manifestations na ayaw na niya and this degrades your morale even more and you will view yourself as stupid because you felt betrayed and cheated and will think of "bakit hindi ko napansin yun? (signs)" Maybe because you felt happy, in cloud 9 that cuases tendency to be vigilant and alert... And then, lalo mo pang mafe-feel na ang tanga mo, na bakit ka nagpaka-tanga atbp. At lalo lamang lumuludmok sa putikan ang damdamin mo na parang kakainin ka na ng buhay. OUCH!

Mas maganda pa ang dead end signs because it speaks for itself na hanggang dito na lang... Masakit sa una dahil prangka, straignht to the point pero at least hindi ka nagmukhang tanga...

At least hindi naubos ang hope mo and pagmamahal sa sarili.

--------------------------------------------------------
"I like DEAD END signs...
I think they're kind...
They at least have the decency
to let you know you're going nowhere..."
- BUGS BUNNY
--------------------------------------------------------

>aray hehe

2006-09-10T22:40:00.000+08:00

GOT THIS FROM FLOR'S BLOG. OK?ok!ang kyut kasi eh ^__^ - she got it from email e

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"Learning the art of letting go..."

lyrics `yan ng isa sa mga paborito kong kanta. Let go… hummm, mahirap i – explain yun di ba? Ok fine! Alam ko naman na hindi lahat ng tao e senti. Pero di ako naniniwala na hindi lahat ng tao e nahirapan na magpaalam sa isang bagay o tao na masyado niyang pinahahalagahan. Let go… alam nyo, minsan, nakakainis na isipin kung bakit kailangan pa kailangan na may mawala sa'yo kung kelan nararamdaman mo nang kumpleto na ang buhay mo.

"And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave"

yan naman ang isang line na nanggaling sa super gandang kanta na My Immortal. Oo nga naman… bakit nga ba ganoon? Bakit kapag nawawala ang isang tao na mahalaga sayo, hindi pwedeng hindi ka masaktan? Bakit kapag nawala siya, kailangan na iyakan mo siya. Dapat, malungkot ka. Dapt ma- miss mo siya.

Pero iba yun. Letting go is not as simple as saying GOODBYE. Kasi, kapag nag- let go ka, ikaw ang umalis. Ikaw ang nag- decide na lumayo. Lalo na kung ang bagay na iyon ay pinilit mo lang layuan at iwasan dahil alam mong nasasaktan ka. Dahil alam mong wala namang patutunguhan kung itutuloy mo pa.

"I'll let it go with your ... goodbye"

Mahirap magpaaalam sa isang tao na mahalaga sa iyo- yung taong mahal mo. Most specially, kung kailangan mong i- give up ang nararamdaman mo for the sake na sumaya ang ibang tao. Hindi mo naman kayang may masaktan di ba? E di sino ang dapat magbigay? Di ba ikaw rin? Kapag kailangan mo nang mag- give way dahil alam mong iba ang mahal niya. Syempre mahirap yun. Kasi, kapag nag- let go ka, hindi ka na nagpapaalam sa kanya. Ipaparamdam mo na lang na wala ka na. Hindi rin ganoon kadali. Imagine, kakalimutan mo yung taong pinakamahalaga sayo. Yung taong nagpapakumpleto ng araw mo. Yung taong nakakapagpasaya sa iyo. Yung taong araw- araw mong nakikita. Yung taong hindi mo kayang mawala. Pero kailangan mong mamili. Dahil kung hindi, lalo ka lang masasaktan.

Sabi ng kaibigan ko, sana daw, lahat ng tao bulag. Para hindi ka na masasaktan dahil hindi mo naman nakikita ang totoo. Iisipin mo na lang, na lahat ng bagay, imposibleng mangyari. Na yung taong mahal mo, imposible at kahit kailan ay hindi ka mamahalin. Yun ang isang paraan ng letting go. Kapag nag- let go ka, iisipin mo na lang na hindi talaga pwedeng maramdaman ng taong iyon ang nararamdaman mo para sa kanya.

Pwede kasing maramdaman mo na mahal ka niya. Mararamdaman mo lang. Pero… totoo nga ba? Pwedeng sabihin niya sa iyo. Pero… totoo nga ba? Mahirap umasa. Mahirap maghintay sa wala. Mahirap mag- pretend na ayos lang sayo kapag nakikita mong masaya siya kasama ang taong mahal niya. Mahirap ipa- realize at sabihin sa sarili na wala lang iyon. Na in the end, ikaw pa rin ang mas pipiliin niya. Kaya ano lang ang pwede mong gawin, wala na kundi ang i- let go siya. It takes a lifetime para kalimutan ang isang taong hindi mo naman gustong kalimutan. Pero you have no option to choose, isa lang sa inyo ang dapat maging masaya. Ikaw- o yung taong mahal mo? Kakalimutan mo siya hindi dahil may hatred ka na iba ang mahal niya. Lalayo ka dahil natatakot ka sa katotohanang kaibigan ka lang niya. Dahil hindi mo kayang itanong sa kanya ng diretso, kung mahal ka nga ba niya. Dahil kaibigan mo ang taong mahal niya at hindi ka pwedeng magalit sa taong iyon dahil mahalaga rin siya para sa iyo. Dahil may kaibigan ka na mahal rin ang taong mahal mo. Dahil ang taong iyon… kaibigan lang ang tingin sa iyo. Maraming dahilan. Pero isa lang ang solusyon.

"I'll let you go... I'll let you fly... why do I keep on asking why?"

Hindi ba, mas maganda na mag- let go ka kaysa naman sa forever mong saktan ang sarili mo? Kapag nag- let go, it doesn't mean that you have to forget the feeling. Mahal mo pa rin siya pero tatanggalin mo yung idea na mahalaga siya sa iyo higit pa sa iba. Hindi mo na pwedeng isipin… na mahal mo siya. Pero nandoon pa rin yun. It's just that, hindi mo pwedeng i- express. Hindi na siya dapat maging special sayo. Hindi na siya dapat yung taong gusto mo laging kausap. Kapag kinausap ka niya, e di kausapin mo. Kapag hindi naman, e di wag.

"Maybe it's wrong to say please love me too because I know you'll never do"

Hindi mo naman pwedeng pilitin yun tao kung hindi talaga ikaw di ba? Magmumukha ka lang tanga noon. Kung papipiliin mo naman siya, right at this moment, siguradong hindi ikaw ang pipiliin niya. Wala ka nang pwedeng magawa pa kundi ang tulungan na lang siyang mapalapit sa taong mahal niya. Yun kasi ang isang pagkakamali. Kapag alam mo na kung sino ang mahal niya, magagalit ka sa taong iyon. Pero case to case iyon. Paano kung kaibigan mo naman? Magagalit ka ba? Of course not! You should understand. Hindi naman niya kasalanan kung nagustuhan siya nung taong mahal mo. Dapat nga maging masaya ka. At least, hindi man ikaw iyon, kaibigan mo naman ang minahal niya.

"It's not suppose to feel this way... I need you... I need you...

More and more each day... "

Kung talagang mahal mo siya, dapat ang iisipin mo, kung saan siya sasaya. Kung sa tingin mo, hindi mo magagawa iyon o may iba siyang gusto, set him o her free. Lalo na kung kaibigan mo siya. Kapag naman nagmahal ka, hindi talaga sinasadya. You fall for the most unexpected person in the expected time. Hindi mo naman pinagplanuhan na siya ang gustuhin. Kusa na ;ang siyang dumarating. Bigla mo na lang nararamdaman. But does it matter? Hindi. Ang mahalaga, kung ano o saan siya sasaya. You have to be selfless. Dapat nararamdaman mo kung ikaw ba o hindi ang taong gusto niya. Kung oo, hold on. Kung hindi, try to still hold on. Pero kapag dumating ka na sa point na alam mong wala na rin namang patutunguhan, let go…

"So tell me where do I start... `cause it's breaking my heart...

don't wanna let her go... "

If you really love the person, let him/ her decide. Kasi kapag alam niyang masasaktan ka, syempre, hindi niya sasabihin sa iyo na iba ang mahal niya. Ipaparamdam niya sa iyo na mahal ka niya whereas sa ibang tao, iba ang sinasabi niyang mahal niya. Masakit yun kapag nalaman mo hindi ba? It just mean na hindi pala nagiging reality ang dream. Kasi hindi mo pa naramdaman nang mas maaga na ikaw, dapat great friend ka lang o kaya best friend ka lang. That would be harder, for sure. Mas mahihirapan kang aminin sa sarili mo na hindi ikaw ang mahal niya.

"I guess I'm down to my last cry..."

Siguro.. lahat naman talaga ng bagay natatapos e. Kung hanggang diyan ka na lang, you have to stay like that for the rest of your life. But you should let him/ her know kung ano ang nararamdaman mo. Malay mo… pareho lang pala kayo… pinipilit n'yo lang mag- let go sa isa't isa….

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aray... totoo... hehehe

>my eight new names

2006-09-07T17:03:00.000+08:00

Just saw florie post it in friendster... Funny and Weird

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet andcurrent street name)
> georgy colmena

2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME:(grandfather/grandmother on your dad's side, yourfavorite candy)
> atilana snowbear (bwahahaha)

3. YOUR "FLY GIRL/GUY" NAME: (first initial offirst name, first two or three letters of your middlename)
> kuy

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color,favorite insect)
> pink butterfly (hahaha)

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name,city where you were born)
> marie quezon (pwd ba yung middle name?!ewan?!)

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 lettersof your last name, first 2 letters of your first name,first 2 letters of mom's maiden name and first 3letters of the town you grew up in.)
> malkruymak (Huwhat?! ang baho. and its like a terrosrist's name)

7. Terrorist Name: (middle name spelledbackwards, your mom's maiden name spelledbackwards)> eiram yu (cool... doesn't sound terrorista!)

8. SUPERHERO NAME: ("The", your favoritecolor, favorite drink)
> the pink sarsi (haha)

>aesthetics

2006-09-07T16:50:00.000+08:00

After the spanish class, I went to school, to PRS and saw some pips there... Nakakamiss ang skul life... But I realized, its also oki for me that I didn't review for this November CGFNS coz I'm not yet in the condition to review... You know, thinking of the stuff that happened... Its so shit tlaga... Pero I missed the pips...

After going to the building e there's one statement that stucked into my mind... Ma'am Chua told me: "Gumaganda ka ata ngayon..." Ewan ko... hahaha, maybe, I'm so problematic at sakitin tese past few days that I felt down... And after hearing those words e medjo ego booster nanaman ito... Is it the clothes? Is it the make-up or the earrings that I wore? I dunno but it just felt good na may nagsabi sakin ulit... Hahaha...

I went to Dr. Navarro's clinic to check it out for mommy who's planning to have her lap-chole... Aun... All in one errand

Tapus I watched CARS!!!! Finally!!! Grabe... It's nice and full of values... Nakaka-aliw... Tapus cguro later, I'm gonna start reading books na ulit... for review...

Next DVD to watch: The Devil Wears Prada... c/o Ekai! Hahaha

>bed potato

2006-09-07T00:01:00.000+08:00

Hay... The weather is very weird... It would rained hard in the morning meaning causing floods then, it would be hot in the afternoon...

Because I'm sick, I just slept the whole day and afternoon... Grabe... Ang sarap plang matulog the whole day... a good slimming regimen...

Going back to the weirdness of the weather, It rained hard again this evening. Just like the weather, some people are just weird in the manner they act. Funny isn't it? Even though they know that what they're doing is wrong, even though they are informed by people that they're wrong, they still kept on doing it. Dense? Maybe. Acting stupid and deaf? Maybe they're doing this just for the sake of satisfying self comfort... Weird...

At least I'm not stupid, deaf nor dense, just a bed potato (counterpart of couch potato) Haha

>quote

2006-09-06T23:55:00.001+08:00

its funny when some people reacts to some "tagos" quote especially when you're just sending it for the purpose of passing it... Wala lang... Its oki if its a positive way but when it would be a source of some arguements e medjo irriating ha...

chakra

2006-09-05T00:28:00.000+08:00

I just took a test regarding chakras which emers sent me just a while ago. This is the result:

your most positive energy is flowing from your Seventh Chakra

This chakra is located at the crown of your head and represents the seat of the soul. The seventh chakra is associated with your connection to your spiritual self and to the divine. In your case, this chakra appears to be clear and unblocked so that positive energy can flow from it freely. Radiating positive energy from your seventh chakra indicates that you've cultivated higher wisdom concerning the important life lessons associated with this energy center. You're apt to feel a greater bond with the spiritual world. You're probably also more able to live in the moment than most other people are. The seventh chakra is the chakra of highest spiritual evolution.

Whether they're allowing positive energy to flow or preventing it from doing so, all seven of your body's chakras contribute to how you are feeling on a day-to-day basis. When they're balanced, you feel energized and at the top of your game. When they're unbalanced, you may feel tired or 'off'. While we have focused on identifying the one chakra that allows your positive energy to flow most freely, we have also discovered the ways your other six chakras are handling the passage of energy.

comment: Wow! Hindi ko ito nakaya!!! Bigatin! Hahaha. Mental Enegy tlaga... Pero somewhat true... :p

Laro nalang tayo ng Chinese Garter at 10-20

2006-09-04T15:53:00.000+08:00

Nakakatuwa kasi I had the chance to work with our professors at when working with them, I can see the child in them... Parang tayo, naglolokohan at nag-aasaran... Nag-iimpersonate pa nga ng mga fellow faculty nila etc e... Paranga tayo...

i agree sa mga points ni anna at ekai sa alltarbums...

life is simplier when we are still kids the things usually pre-occupies our mind are that what are you gonna eat, wear, sometimes how to please the oldies by doing stuff buy toys, clothes and new school stuff like bags, pencil cases, crayons, watching anime, cartoons like Cedie, Princess Sarah, Julio at Julia etc. Problems before are simple... Ang buhay bata, away-bati sa friends. And the stuff are not that serious sa totoo lang. Basta, may Jolibee, Mcdo, Goldilocks cake lang, masaya na tayo. We are inclined to be honest kasi bad daw ang nagsisinungaling etc. May mga myths pang pinaniniwalaan before na pag type A blood, clean blood at type O - dirty blood; na we were delivered by heron etc.

Now that we are old, life became more complicated... Reality na kasi, its like when we are still young, we lived in an idealistic world that everything seems to be perfect at tama si anna that most of us wished to grow up na kasi we thought that being old enough, we could enjoy more privilages in life that we envy from our parents and sibling.

Reality na ngayon kasi every move, we have to pay the consequences. Before, wala tayong problema sa pera, nagyon, malaking problema kung saan kukuha ng pera. Before, when we broke something, we are just scolded or sasabihan, pero ngayon iba na. Before, its easy to be honest, ngayon, ang hirap na (the elephant thing ekai's talking about) Alam nyo yung feeling that there is a clash between personal comfort and morality in terms of honestly... When you say the truth, you'll be condemend, but if you don't ang heavy ng burden... Hindi din masaya that the people around you tolerated dishonesty... Ang hirap...

A Thomasian Nurse batch 1993 said to me: "Before, my parents always says: Paka-bait ka para matuwa sayo ang mga tao. Study hard so that you could enter a good college, tapos I studied hard nga. Study harder so that you could have a good job. Work hard so that you'll be promoted." Pero sabi din nya na ngayon, parang hindi din cya masaya even though he achieve all of this kasi ang tanung nya sa sarili nya: "What's next?" HIndi daw katulad noong mga bata pa tayo... na simple ang buhay bata.

Sa totoo lang, minsan naiisip ko kung tama ba itong ginagawa ko kasi ang dami na nagiging affected... Its UST vs the world na nga dito e... Kulang na lang e kuyugin na nila ang skul sa sobrang galit nila... pero sabi nga sakin ni Ma'am Llanes at Ekai, there will come a time na you'll have to choose: between the easy thing and the right thing.

its the clash between the idealistic and the realistic point of view...

Grabe... na-mimiss ko na maging bata... Sana pala, mas in-enjoy ko lalu ang childhood ko. hehehe. Laro nalang tayo ng Chinese Garter at 10-20

blog things

2006-09-03T00:31:00.000+08:00

Just browsing sheri's blog and saw a corner full of blog quizzes... dahil bored ako, i tried some and eto cya

You Are The Magician

You are powerful and wise - beyond what anyone can see.Deeply complex, you have the resources to connect to the spiritual and material world.You posses the knowledge to manipulate your life and the lives around you.You also have a great healing power, should you choose to use it.
Your fortune:
You have unhidden powers that you have yet to tap into. Soon, you will better understand how to use your intellect and intuition. Believe it or now, you will discover how you can manipulate yourself and others for good.You are at the beginning of a path of spiritual enlightenment.

What Tarot Card Are You?

comment: somewhat true kasi i and others think that i have the power to influence people, so parang somewhat related ang prediction na ito. Healing power may refer to my therapuetic communication snd sensitivity to others. :P

You Are 44% Lady

You're part lady, part modern woman.Etiquette is important to you, but you brush aside rules that are outdated or silly.

Are You A Lady?

comment: lady and women is different pala in this quiz. Yap partly true

You Are 33% Impulsive

You're a pretty stable and serious person. You don't take things lightly.This doesn't mean you can't have fun - you just have fun responsibly. You definitely have a spontaneous side, but you only let loose when it's appropriate.

Are You Impulsive?

comment: Its true that I'm not that impulsive... I liked planned events at least there's a plan and responsible way of having fun... Its all in the leaglities :p

You Are Coke

A true original and classic, you represent the best of everything you can offer.Just the right amount of sweet, just the right amount of energy... you're the life of the party.
Your best soda match: Mountain Dew
Stay away from:Dr Pepper

What Kind of Soda Are You?

comment: Actually, I prefer being rootbeer than coke... masyadong malakas and spirit ng coke. I prefer also the taste of rootbeer. Pero mountain dew would aslo be fine.

You Are Low Rise Jeans

You are both sexy and casual - the type of girl who looks hot without really trying.You tend to spark imagination, only showing a peek of your skin.

What Style of Jeans Are You?

comment: Actually, I don't like low rise jeans kasi kita na ang underwear or para ka ng matatanggalan ng pants. I prefer classic pants because of its kapit sa waist but i also like trendy pants.

Your Brain's Pattern

You have a dreamy mind, full of fancy and fantasy.You have the ability to stay forever entertained with your thoughts.People may say you're hard to read, but that's because you're so internally focused.But when you do share what you're thinking, people are impressed with your imagination.

What Pattern Is Your Brain?

comment: I just choose the pic because of its cute design that's all :p

Caffe Vanilla Frappuccino

Smooth and sweet, you fit in to almost any crowd. No one would suspect you of being a coffee tweaker!

What Flavor Frappuccino Are You?

comment: I never tasted vanilla frap before. I prefered yung may coffee jelly na frap or the one's with mint during christmas season.

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart.
In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you.
You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.
You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance.
Your ideal relationship is comforting. You crave a relationship where you always feel warmth and love.
Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.
You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage.
In this moment, you think of love as something you can get or discard anytime. You're feeling self centered.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

comment: Whow! This is the only quiz who revealed almost all of the things that is true. Except for teh marriage part. Maybe its true at the moment because siyempre, Why think of it when your still 21? Love Life? Nah! I agree kasi I don't feel the need to have one. Enjoy muna being single :p

You Are Vanilla Ice Cream

Your personality is anything but "vanilla"You're a risk taker, who's up for anything new.You go well with anyone and fit into any situation.
You are most compatible with rocky road ice cream.

What Flavor Ice Cream Are You?

comment: I really love vanilla ice cream... It goes with the others :p

Last...

You Don't Have a Boyfriend Because You are Too Shy

When a guy gets to know you, he finds a great catchProblem is... you're too shy for most guys to get to know.From meeting someone to dating, you usually have your guard up.And while you're just holding back, it makes you seem like you've got something to hide.

Why Don't You Have a Boyfriend?

comment: Tlaga? I'm shy, e extrovert nga ako e bwahaha. Contradicting result :p

sleep and sleep

2006-09-02T13:36:00.000+08:00

the review classes for december has just began...
and everyone is invited naman so oki lang mag-attend. After all, its free naman e. Pampalipas oras habang walang ginagawa...
Nakakapagod din sobra, sitting there 8-6 pm listening to the lecture but at least its a mind refresher sa mga naaral na.
Eto again, sleep and sleep kapag walang pasok... Kaya ito pumapayat... This is a regimen I learned from Maane... And thanks dahil I lost weight ng walang ka-effort effort!!! Hahaha

Flor! kelan tayo punta 168? Tara!

shopping therapy

2006-08-30T22:28:00.000+08:00

The tension rgarding the board exam is getting worse... Its like too personal and the pressure it brings is so intense that sometimes, my head just wants to pop-out like a cola that's being opened and then suddenly, the carbonic acid is released hehe... its like that
There were hearings regarding the case in the congress as well as the senate but for now, I absent myself with the advise of my mom, and also to loose some stress, kasi anytime now, I could pop-up.
So what I did was to go to Baclaran to attend mass and went to 168 for a shopping therapy, to tone down the stress I'm feeling... At least some diversinal activity for the mean time or else, I would crazy na...
The place is neat, cool and conducive for strolling... ayun lang... masaya kahit papano. :P coz I saw a lot of clothes etc. I only bought some pero I'll be back, that's for sure hehe...

figure it out

2006-08-30T01:14:00.000+08:00

just went to sheri's blog at naaliw ako na nadiscover ko:

nakakatawa lang... morenang chinita ako! bwahaha. oi hindi ako ang naglagay nyan, yan lang ung minatch sa site kitams... nakaka-aliw lang hehe

gaining and loosing

2006-08-28T21:14:00.000+08:00

Que horror!

What is happening to us?! These past few days e medyo hectic ang schedule ko kaya nakakapagod... Pero those things I'm doing is for a cause naman... Nakakapagod nga lang kasi halos buong araw kang nakasabak...

Gaining my self-worth
Even though the fight regarding the leakage is going to quantity, na its like UST against the world, I happy that I am developing a discerning mind sabi ni Ma'am Llanes. It seems that everything that I've learned regarding ethics and theology were inculcated in my mind na... Pero sana, those people sana e will see beyond what they need to see... the Philippines indeed has not the "ideal" set-up for healthcare in comparison with other countries pero sana we make try to make it "ideal" in our own ways... Some people are mad at us Thomasian for the things we're doing pero I hope that they'll hear our side first at look beyond what they see and hear...

Loosing some weight
Because of the things happening in the profession, I am somewhat depressed with some people, na its like their values are degrading... Its different from the things I saw when I'm still a student, and i reckoned, this is reality. And because of the activities I have, I can't help but to stay on bed the whole day when I'm not doing something... What I'm doing is to sleep most of the time as not to think of the problems... Its causing me a lot of stress and it affects my mood... Kaya ayun, kakatulog e pamapayat because, by sleeping a lot, I'm not eating meals as well as burining stored fats in my body kaya ayun...

Loosing people
Sad to say but I have to let go of some friends for the meantime for several reasons...
1. Conflict of opinions - This is whats irritating with them because they will ask for advise then if you give it to them, they won't follow it, its oki naman if they won't follow it pero they keep on complaining about things... How many times do I told them to try this advise, but they kept on refusing. the worst part is that, this opinion maybe used against you and then you'll end up starting a heated arguement with them... It's so frustrating! Another thing is that opposing opinions regarding issues etc. They kept on blaming my school for the mess thats happening in the contriversy of the boards well in fact we're just opening to the public the issues they must see... Its oki naman kung civil e pero to some extent e personalan na kaya, Ayun, heated arguement... Might as well avoid having conversations with them para walang gulo.

2. Lack of Trust - I prefer not to be friends with them because they always have doubts with my suggestions and my credibility as their friend. And trust is an essential compnent in friendship. When trust is lost, all the others will follow

Kaya bye bye muna sakanila... Maybe I have to give up on them muna kasi they're not doing any good sa totoo lang... They're just adding an unecessary burden.

Ayun lang naman :)

>sad but true

2006-08-19T00:54:00.000+08:00

i'm very sad because of what is happening in the profession I chose to take... a lot of things are happening and it is creating an environment in which usage of ethical principles is needed...

Upon hearing the news that there were Thomasian who took oath, I felt dissapointed because some of them, I presonally know, I have talked to them a lot on the reasons why the college is fighting for this cause, but somehow, their minds are already close regarding these issues or they just wish to hear nothing, and pretend that they see nothing...

According to ma'am llanes, when you decided to take oath, it's like your accepting the 2 counts of cheating they did. First, that we don't have a leakage. Second, regarding the manner in which the grade were computed.

There is no glaring leakage but on the contrary, there is... Those who are pretending that they see and hear nothing are very ovious in the manner on how they handled the situation... So sad but true that the things thought in school were already forgotten by some of us and some were even proud of it... So sad...

>?5 secs of fame

2006-08-16T15:43:00.000+08:00

yak ha... grabe... ang pangit ko sa TV, ung bulol na part pa yung kinuha! WHA! nation of cheats, tama yung grammar na yun because I have heard it from a prof na sinabi ni Biazon sa senate... O ha!

Basta I looked pale there, basang sisiw etc... SABOG! dahil sa lakas ng ulan... Bwahaha

>sorry

2006-08-14T01:40:00.000+08:00

Hay...

I missed barkada...

Sorry kung di ako nagpaparamdam ngayon... We're in a mess right now kahit alam nyo na ang fact dahil you have seen it sa mga broadsheets and internet... Ayun, isa itong issue which involves our future na kahit PASSED e mas complicated pa ang life compare to those who luckily/unluckily who didn't make it kasi nga our license would be in question dahil sa leakage kahit honest... you know, the stigma...

Soon after this problem e magpaparamdam na ulit ako... Mahirap lang kasi dahil madaming iniisip at ayoko na na madamay kayo with these matters... dahil i know that you also have concerns of your own and this issue is something which has a big impact kaya it's better na hindi na kayo sumama dahil pati kayo magugulo lang... the situation is VERY COMPLICATED na pati kami ganun na ang na-feel.

Alam kong tampo kayo pero konting patience and understanding lang po. I know that we're friends through thick and thin at ang dami na nating napagdaanan pero siyempre, pero dapat ko ding i-consider ang position and feelings ng iba :) sana understand nyo na lang po :) Kaya kung mangungulit kayo e ini-ignore muna namin kayo kasi nga ito ang nagyayari. Kung may isang bagay kayong ma-o-offer, that is your prayers that all of these things would end with justice...

Miss you all! Ang Please Pray for us... Yun na lang mahihiling ko senyo!

TNX!

>values

2006-08-13T02:24:00.000+08:00

The leakage issue is very frustrating. And the PRC is wrong in publishing the results of the exam with pending investigation. They really did it on purpose, it is their tactic to divide the nursing community to cover-up the leakage issue and to silence the crowd. Of course, if you know that you passed, you won't complain regarding the issue. And I can say that they are very succesful in it.

Now that our fight against the Nursing Leakage is going on, I can't help but to feel sad with our situation especially with our fellow Thomasians whom we thought will go with us in this fight. I must say that I am some what dissapointed with some people who doesn't really care about the situation only because they passed. There are some who even namemersonal just because our stand is for retake.

I understand the concern of other students who are not joining our cause, that is because of their work and other personal reasons. Some because of time constraint and distance as well as financial reasons that's why they prefered not to retake. So sad that there are those who are not alarmed on this issue even though they aren't facing these situations: fiancial, personal problems etc. What's even worst e inaaway ka pa. And they will think of you as an idealist etc. Well, what's the purpose of ideals if it won't be put into use. Respeto na lang sa bawat isa.

Why did I choose to join this cause? To join in proposition of a retake? These are my reasons:

1. This issue concerns my profession, my license. And these two are the fruits of my labor after 4 years of studying, hardwork, time and effort. I don't want that all of the things I have done to achieve my goal will be put into waste just because of leakage issues, so I'm fighting for it.

2. Its about values and to stick with those I've learned. My parents reared me up to be independent and outspoken. They thought me to fight for what is right. Same goes with my Alma Mater, UST. It thought me to stick with the truth - Veritate et Caritate. And I know that what I'm doing today is the application of what my parents and mentors have thought me.

"I am a steward of my profession, and as a steward,
I have the duty and responsibility to take care of my profession."

3. This is a good time to stand up and make a difference. As an ordinary citizen, this situation rarely happens and a good opportunity to fight for what I believe in and to make a difference in this world. At least when I grow old, I won't regret that time but instead will be proud that I DID make a DIFFERENCE in this world.

4. I want to be treated fairly. It hurts me when passers are discriminated because of the leakage even though I knew that I am honest with the boards. I want that when my time will come in applying for a job, the leakage issue won't affect my employment status. I want my license to be clean of doubt. And doubt ragarding my competence won't be an issue to those people who will hire me and that those whom will I care for. Trust is essential in caring for a patient.

5.Technically, if we would follow the provision in the law: RA 9173 or the Nursing Act of 2002,

Section 15. Ratings. - In order to pass the examination, an examinee must obtain a general average of at least seventy-five percent (75%) with a rating of not below sixty percent (60%) in any subject. An examinee who obtains an average rating of seventy-five percent (75%) or higher but gets a rating below sixty percent (60%) in any subject must take the examination again but only in the subject or subjects where he/she is rated below sixty percent (60%). In order to pass the succeeding examination, an examinee must obtain a rating of at least seventy-five percent (75%) in the subject or subjects repeated.

Nullifying Tests 3 and Tests 5 would violate this section because each subject is essential part of the whole exam. That's why we have 5 sets of exams with 100 items each. Therefore 380 items is not as good as the 500 items exam. Because the competence of the nurses in that nullified area would not be measured. And the action of "toning down" the grades to "tone down the leakage" is not a good reason to come up with a grade in test 5. If a certain part of the test is nullfied, it is a good as having a grade of 0%. And putting a grade derived from the other tests doesn't really reflect what it is suppose to reflect. So how can you say that you pass when in reality, a part is missing. Its like that we are SRNs - Statistically Registered Nurses. We only passed because the modified formula used to tone down the leakage favors us to pass. How about the others?

6. How sure we are we that all the 17,000+ who passed really deserve to pass? That they are really honest, meaning there's no leakage? What if these UNWORTHY PASSERS did something and the victims of their malpractice would be my family? And that they caused death or life long injury to them? I cannot afford that to happen.

These are some reasons why I wanted a retake.

I can't afford that in the future, I will regret the time I have the chance to fight for what is right, for what I believe is right and just.

>gofish barkadahan!

2006-08-13T01:20:00.000+08:00

August 11, 2006 - After 2 years, another gofish reunion. I really missed them since its been so long since I went out with them. 2 years... Parang kelan lang... Grabe... I'm late as usual pero naman I travelled all the way from UST to RP Manila. There's an important meeting/forum regarding the Nursing Leakage that I have to attend pa... And the Forum started at past 1pm kaya late na din natapus.

Kay is here and she'll leaving for states on friday kaya I really have to go there and meet them. Minsan ko na lang siya makikita e.At chaka ilang beses na ko hindi nakakasama sa gimik kaya kelangang sumama. Batang allergikin ako kaya bawal muna sa bar.

Sayang nga lang kasi yung iba hindi ko na naabutan. Pero frustrating lang ang mga hindi pumunta even though wala namn silang lakad... yung mga tinatamad sumama.

Nakakatuwa ang reunion. Picture galore ulit at kwentuhan at asaran to the max. Nakakamiss nga e kaya panandalian kong nakalimutan ang tension sa leakage pero even though the topic was brought up, hindi cya ganun ka-tension unlike you're defending your side to some people who won't respect your decision to support retake.

Ayun nga masaya. Ice monster and shakeys... Nakakabusog at in fairness 100 lang ang gastos! Mura na yun for a gimik. Sabagay hindi naman me sumama sa bar pero its oki, I will have my moment din but it isn't yesterday...

people places and things

2006-08-09T19:42:00.000+08:00

A lot of thoughts are running into my mind...

Stress is bringing about a lot of things manifested by my body... An appropriate nursing diagnosis is : Alteration in comfort, pain related to presence of multiple mouth sores secondary to stress. Stress in all aspects increases my anxiety level and decreases my immune function...

Stress sa college friends...
I'm start to get frustrated with certain people whom I greatly extended my patience... Sila pa yung madalas kong kasama pero it seems na mali pala ako ng pagkakakilala... Kapag kelangan ka, chaka ka lang naaalala pero kapag walang problema, parang ibinasura ka lang sa tabi...pupulutin ka lang kapag may problema ulit...

Kung sino pa sa una ang hindi mo friends, not in good terms, which eventually became friends, sila pa ang nanjan everytime, nagpaparamdam kahit walang problema... Yun tipong every now and then e present... Nakakalungkot lang isipin na yung mga hindi mo close before sila pa ang nag-tetreasure ng friendship mo compared sa mga ilan tao na kasama ko parati, tapus biglang nawala sa ERE...

Ibang iba talaga compared sa h.s friends... even though I don't wanna compare e parang ganun na nga kasi ang H.S. friends, kahit malayo kayo e, nanjan pa din through thinck and then, may kelangan o wala nanjan pa din...

Stress sa Boards...
I'm so pissed off with what's happening with the board exams... Hindi ako maka-move on dahil sa leakage... Kahit i know I passed, hindi parin madali dahil I'm included in the batch in which the leakage controversy grew... PRC and BON are very narrow minded and stupid in publishing the results of the exam even though there is an existing problem, they just published the results without doing something to resolve the leakage... Does ommiting 120 items enough? How about the competency, it only means that 40% on the necessary compentency was not measured accurately becuase it was ommited... and that they developed a LAME formula to compensate for the 120 items ommited...

Sana kasi, they didn't published results, sana they just proposed a re-take then tapus, at least by that way, hindi tumatagal... Nabibinbin kami mga pumasa... At sure ba sila that all of the 17000+ passed without leakage? I don't think so... Sana kasi bilisan na nila

Stress sa Money at Trabaho...
Siyempre, mahirap ang BUM walang pera at dahil sa boards, walang trabaho... Di maka-move on dahil baka ma-retake... Ang pangit naman na hingi ka ng hingi sa magulang mo...

Nakakainis... So stressed...
Gus2 ko magbakasyon, sa malayo, sa cebu o kaya sa Bohol, sa may beach at may mga stars kapag gabi, malamig ang hangin sa gabi at may araw sa umaga... I want to relax! I need it!

testing...

2006-08-03T22:56:00.000+08:00

testing 1, 2,3